5 Things I learned in 1 Month of Engagement
I’m in disbelief that Zack and I have already been engaged for a month. It has truly been a whirlwind over the past 4 weeks from booking vendors to assembling the bridal party, it’s all going so fast!
However, I have learned a thing or two during this time, and I feel it important to share these tidbits for the next girl that gets engaged to save her some peace of mind.
1. Comparison will kill your vibe, steal your joy, and discourage you from wedding planning.
When Zack first popped the question, the first few hours were full of bliss and excitement. I had a beautiful diamond ring on my finger, the perfect fiancé, and I was surrounded by family. But not even 24 hours after getting engaged, I was already comparing my wedding to every other person I could think of. All my girlfriends from college who were already married, girls on Pinterest and Instagram, and of course the people who I didn’t even know but assumed that their ring, proposal, venue, *insert any other wedding choice here* was better than what I had. I was legitimately upset and let these ugly thoughts of comparison flood my mind. It stole the joy of wedding planning for me and I was really unmotivated because my wedding wasn’t going to be just like “hers” (whoever ‘her’ was).
So, word to the wise, DON’T DO THAT! Your wedding is YOUR wedding. It doesn’t matter what that random girl on Pinterest is doing or how much money she’s spending. Your wedding should represent you at the point in life in which you’re getting married. Period.
2. You can’t plan it all in one day, so don’t try.
If you’re anything like me and you’re a super Type A personality with a driving force of a stampede of elephants, you may begin to feel like you must plan your entire wedding in a week’s time. You’ll find yourself getting frustrated that that vendor didn’t respond to your email within thirty seconds of you sending it off into cyberspace and you’ll be biting your nails in anticipation for your bridesmaids opinions on the dresses you chose for them. Honey, it’s not worth the emotional expenditure to get upset 2 days into your engagement. Do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, and ENJOY THE PROCESS of planning a wedding. Easier said than done, I know; but you’re only going to be engaged for a short time in comparison to the lifetime of marriage ahead of you. Enjoy being a fiancé!
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
You only get married once, right? So you probably don’t have any idea of how to plan a wedding. Quick tip: ask! I have a bunch of girlfriends who are already married and they have been my lifelines throughout the last few weeks. Also, moms are the best: your mom and your mother in-law (if you’re lucky enough to be close to her) can be some of your biggest allies. After all, they got married too at one point. Ask for help!
4. Do as much as you can for a discounted price or for free.
Use. Who. You. Know.
If you have friends in the wedding industry, check them out to see if you can grab a discount. We have so many things that we’re getting for a discounted price because we have friends that are willing to help us out with whatever their talent is! Whether it’s baking cakes, photography, or catering – go for what is cheapest! Your wedding doesn’t have to cost a big buck to be what you’ve always dreamed of.
DIY is going to be your best friend. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m not using a florist. I’m buying bulk flowers and arranging them myself. To some, this may seem too daunting or the flowers may seem really important to you, so you want a professional to take care of it. I totally understand that. For me, flowers aren’t that big of a deal and I believe I can do an adequate job on my own. Find your thing that you can do for yourself and run with it! You can still get what you want without breaking the bank.
5. Last but not least, remember why you’re getting married.
It is by far the easiest thing to get caught up in the stress of planning, budgeting, and ironing out details; but remember why you’re evening doing this in the first place. You’re getting to marry the man of your dreams. He just spent his hard earned money to buy you a ring and initiate the conversation of you becoming his wife – FOREVER! Remember him and why you’re doing this. Keep yourself grounded. It’ll all be worth it. 🙂
I hope these tips help a sister out who’s also going through this season of engagement. If I could leave you with one piece of advice, remember this: it’s only for a time. It’ll be over before you know it. So soak it all in and enjoy the ride; you only get to be a fiancé once!